The Storm

Greetings and thank you to all who have visited my site in my long absence. I have been through many challenges that took a lot of inner strength in order to return now to my sanctuary, here under the tree resting in the moonlight while writing to you .
I worked for many years in the same location for two wonderful men that became not only my employers, but also my friends as did their families and the other colorful and creative co-workers that I shared goals, hopes, fears and dreams with on a daily basis. As we know there is one constant in the Universe and that is change and change came unexpected with the new owners that purchased the business. It wasn't something that happened over night, no it was a gradual and deliberate and in the end a blessing, but my nature is to remain with the comfort of those I know and love so when I was met with the decision to leave or be desolate spirit surrounded me, protected me, fulfilled me and loved me through the beginning of a whole new journey which affected everything in my life.

I had been helping my son who was living with me, he was about to move when during this transition the roles changed and I would be living with him. My secure comforting daily life became like the card form a tarot deck " The Tower", pieces of my heart were scattered and torn from all the human emotions I was experiencing of disappointment, betrayal, sadness, loss and disbelief. Yet down deep in my core the quiet, comforting voice of spirit could still be heard saying, " You are loved, everything is perfect, everything is OK." I'm sure some people found me to be an inspiration while others could have been thinking I was in denial and that was why I had it so together. There were times when the fear of what was I going to do would creep upon me like a dark cloud that covers the sunshine. This human experience I was in the midst of was a reminder of many things to me; similar "hard times", thoughts and beliefs of many spiritual studies I had experienced in the past, things my Grandma would say to me that have given me strength over the years, positive affirmations, bible verses, metaphysical classes and on and on and on. I drew from all I had become to weather this storm, I remained in the center of the storm where I knew it would be quiet and where I could be at peace while the winds blew all around me. I didn't try to fly, I felt it best to float, if there was ever a time in my life to practice going with the flow this was surely it! Let Go, Let God!

Yes, my spiritual teacher, Roger T. use to say that quite a bit ( more remembering ). Letting go has always been a growth lesson in this life for me I always thought I should be "doing" something to improve a situation in my life so it's no wonder Roger had sensed it was a phrase meant for my ears until I decided to allow it to become one of my personal mantra's, until I chose to live it and be present in the moment not doing anything, allowing myself to be in the center and not whirling around seeking solutions here and there in my mind. I had grown to become pretty good at living in the moment by the time this life changing event began and so I am grateful for it was what helped me to remain grounded, less stressed, full of faith and knowingness that all things have a purpose and even the hardest most unsettling changes can lead us to where we are meant to be. When I say meant to be I know that where I am now may change in a moment and then it could be longer. I now live, work and am in a totally different routine surrounded by new people. All I need and more is provided. I am well, I am blessed. Yes, it was quite a storm, it crumbled many past routines, shook my comfort zone and renewed my inner strength, but when it passed my connection to what mattered most was still in tact, held strong by the roots of love and understanding.

Namaste'
Ann Bastuba